Practical Advice : Newborn Babies - What they need and what to do

When I had my first child, I was pretty clueless. I hadn't thought I would be (I have two sisters who'd both had kids before me) but it turns out that changing the odd nappy and cuddling a baby occasionally is not much preparation for the reality of 24/7 care of a newborn. 

So with that in mind, Mumsnet do a fab list of things you absolutely need to buy. And this is a short guide to looking after babies.

• FOOD

• Breast milk or Formula or a combination of both.

  • If you plan to breastfeed it can be helpful to google a list of breastfeeding clinics before the baby is born so if you have issues then you can just get out the list. Googling with a howling baby in one arm isn't as straightforward. Buy Lansinoh. Apply liberally. Keep it in your pocket if you have a winter baby as it otherwise is so hard to get out of the tube.

  • If you do formula feed full time, I'm told that a Tommee Tippee perfect prep machine is worth every penny.

• After feeding them, they need winding. Baby's chest to your chest, tap lightly on the back. This MAY work. If not, try Tiger in a Tree (baby lying along your forearm, one arm to each side of your forearm). I googled loads of different methods and what worked best for one child wasn't the same as for the other. If you've fed the baby and put them down for a nap and they're still squirming and wriggling, odds are they've still got some trapped wind so you need to keep going.

• Though you'll get through a lot of nappies in the early days (10 or so a day), babies also grow really fast so don't buy too many of size 1 or you'll end up giving them away.

• CRYING

• All babies cry sometimes. This is normal and no reflection on you as a mum. Sometimes it's because they want something (food / winding / changing nappy) and sometimes because they're overtired / overstimulated / in a wonder week / being grumpy.

• If you've tried to meet all the needs (food etc) and they're still crying you may want to try the Five S's. Personally I found this AMAZING.

• White Noise - the constant noise that you hear on an aeroplane, the constant hum of traffic, all these noises are white noise. Similar to what your baby heard for 9 months - your blood whooshing around, your heart beating and so on. A silent room feels odd to them. There are hundreds (probably thousands) of white noise apps out there. My top tip is to consider whether you want to listen to it. It's all very well teaching your baby to sleep to the sound of a hoover but can you sleep to the sound of a hoover? I found ocean waves or rain noises to work well for both of us. This can calm your baby and can also help them drift off to sleep.

• SLEEP

• Some babies are great are sleeping, others not so much. Many are ACE at sleeping during the day and pants at sleeping at night.

• I have heard loads of people recommend the Sleepyhead. Fiendishly expensive, however, and you're committed to buying each of the increasing sizes as baby gets bigger. I was recommended to instead put rolled up towels under the sheet to mimic the same nurturing shape.

• I found this swaddle the best by a country mile. No faffing with which bit goes up and down and tucks in and no houdini baby escaping. Just then used a light blanket over her tum (under her arms) to provide a bit of reassuring pressure on her stomach.

• BOOKS

• There are THOUSANDS of books on how to look after a baby and half of them contradict each other (helpful, right?!). Some books are more routine focused (e.g. Gina Ford) and some are more baby-led, attachment parenting style (e.g. The Womanly Art of Breastfeeding). Some books are more in the mid ground.

• I suggest going to the library and having a browse until you read one that sounds like your style. Neither routine nor attachment parenting is bad if it suits you and your baby. Having said that, if you’re going to co-sleep (sleep with the baby in your bed) please do some research so that you can do it safely. My understanding is : no pillows, granny blankets with holes in, onesies.

  • Some folk rave about Gina Ford. Lots of people hate her. I'm not a fan as I drove myself to tears on a number of occasions with "but the baby's supposed to be asleep" type worries. My husband reminded me (frequently) that the baby can't read and hasn't read the book and is awake so stop worrying. AH. If only it were that simple!

  • I liked the Baby Whisperer as she spoke a lot of good sense and accepts that not all babies have the same characters. There are also some really useful bits about baby body language which I found invaluable.

  • I’ve had people recommend “What to expect in the first year” and “How to have a baby”.

Does anyone have any other tips they would like to add? Let me know. 

Yoga : Mother and Baby 4

As you baby gets older, they can often really enjoy doing yoga with you - in this video you can't see much baby involvement as it's a doll, but real-life babies love all the eye contact and being tickled. 

Practical Advice: Post Natal Stomach Muscle Separation

Many women's stomach muscles become separated whilst they are pregnant and in most cases the muscles can go back together, without need for any medical intervention, so don't panic if you fear that yours are separated. 

First of all : how do I know if my stomach muscles have separated?

Lie on your back, feet planted on the floor by your bottom. Lift your head up and put your fingers into the midline of the stomach. If the fingers dip in, you have separation. In the picture below you can see that I don't have separated muscles (any more) at the top, but they are separated at the bottom by my belly button. *

Secondly, what can you do about it? 

I am not a doctor or physio, but have read quite widely around the subject. With careful management, many stomach muscles will gradually come back together without the need for surgery.  The focus is on exercises that draw the muscles together, rather than pulling the two sides apart. Sit ups, for example, tend to pull the two sides apart. As does boat pose. Over-opening of the torso in upward dog or bow pose can also be considered unhelpful. 

Helpful exercises include :

1. Cat / Cow stretch. From an all fours position, exhale, draw your stomach back towards the spine and arch your back like an angry cat. Inhale, flatten the back down. Repeat x5.

2. Heel Slides. See here

3. Leg Lifts. See here. 

4. Heel Taps. See here 

5. Pelvic Tilts. Either lying on the floor with feet pressed into the floor by your bottom or standing against the wall with knees slightly bent, exhale and bring your lower back towards the wall or floor. Inhale to relax, repeat again.

6. Head Lifts. Lying on the floor with feet pressed into the floor by your bottom, inhale to prepare and exhale lift your head up. Inhale release your head to the floor. Note you're just lifting the head, not your shoulders. This is not a sit up!

7. Squats against a wall, ideally with a block or small ball between the thighs. 

8. Bridge - with leg lift.

9. Side Planks (normal planks are potentially unhelpful, particularly if held). A side plank with knees on the mat is a great place to start if you're rebuilding your strength.

*You may well ask, if I'm following my own advice, why are my stomach muscles still separated? Well, first of all my youngest child is only 18 months old and it can take years for muscles to fully go back together. There is a much smaller separation than there was a year ago. Secondly, I have had several umbilical hernias and in the place in the photo where I have separation, I have a mesh repair behind it. The doctor advised me that my hernia would still be visible after the repair, but it would be safe. I therefore am assuming that my separation may be visible but not important. But I'm not a doctor. Please check with yours if you're concerned.

Yoga : Mother and Baby Yoga 2

The key with all post natal exercise is patience! I know this to my cost, having started running too soon post natally and have the sore knees to prove it. I know that taking it slowly can be frustrating, but slowly and steadily building back up your strength is the key to long lasting health and fitness with no aches and pains. 

So with that in mind, three things for this week:

1) Sphinx pose

Lie on your tummy, then bring your weight onto your elbows, with elbows under your shoulders, hands facing towards the front of your mat.  Keep the neck long, lifting out of the shoulders. 

Inhale, lift through the pelvic floor, exhale lift your tummy off the mat, wrapping it around you (as though you were wearing a corset), release pelvic floor, then inhale tummy goes back onto the mat as you inhale to lift up through the pelvic floor again.

2) Leg Lifts

Here's a video. Start from a lying on your back position with a neutral spine, with a slight curve in your lower back. Both feet on the floor, knees bent. Inhale, lift your pelvic floor, exhale suck your tummy in all around. Then Inhale, lift the pelvic floor, lift the leg so it's level with the other thigh, then exhale lower the leg, sucking the tummy in and around. 

3) Pelvic Floor exercises. 

You'll be doing this already, regularly, right? Well we all forget, but please try and make it part of your day. You want to be holding the pelvic floor up, as well as bringing in the stomach, to have a strong core again. You can get an app which reminds you (Squeezy is the NHS app) or stick reminder stickers around your home, but do make it happen.

Mother and Baby Yoga

I held the first of my new series of Mother and Baby Yoga classes today at the lovely private studio in Claygate and it was lovely to see mums who I saw through pregnancy return to yoga with their little people. 

Abdominal Muscle Separation is very common during and after pregnancy and as this is a post natal class, of course I not only ensure it's safe to do, but also helpful.

Some reminders of things you can do at home, if you wish, to support your stomach coming back together are as follows:

1) Reverse Breathing. 

Not as complicated as it sounds! Sit in a comfortable position, baby on your lap or on the mat in front of you. Sit up tall, shoulders away from the ears. Inhale, lifting up the pelvic floor, then exhale and pull the tummy in, all around, as though you were wearing a corset. It's very much a wrap the tummy in and around action, rather than a flatten-your-lower-back action. 

2) Holding your core when moving

Whenever you stand up, sit down and especially when you are picking up your baby, hold your core inwards, try to keep the back straight and bend your knees. 

3) Heel slides

Lie on your back, head on a cushion. Bend your knees and place your heels by your bottom. Inhale straighten one leg, exhale slide the heel along the floor back towards your bottom, inhale and slide the heel out again. You may find it easiest if you have socks on a wooden floor, for example, for slippiness.  Focus on the exhale and the tummy wrapping round and in as you bring the heel towards you.